she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
