Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
