you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
