fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i barfeds in our rink
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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