i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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