My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
