Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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