To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
