dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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