Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
