Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
