Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
