TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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