I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
