none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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