You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
thus making me awesome and them whores
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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