Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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