My boss' voice literally gives me gas
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
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It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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