Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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