They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize