So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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