It's like a parade of train wrecks.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We were destined to go to rehab together
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
