is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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