ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
