i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
