So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize