I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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