her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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