that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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