All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
