he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
