I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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