So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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