I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
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So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
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Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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