they need to just BURY HIM!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
