The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
