goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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