I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
