please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
