I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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