Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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