Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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