Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
