I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
