Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
