can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
