I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The best revenge is premature balding
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
