glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
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girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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