What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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