Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize