No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
