we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
