You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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