I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
