STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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