is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
