If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
