I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
