He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
