plz talk dirty to me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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