OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
